In recent weeks, for the first time I have ventured into two chain restaurants that purport to be "neighborhood" joints where everyone gleefully gathers after work, after the game, to enjoy, depending, authentic Italian food, or basic American edibles.
The Olive Garden--"When you're here, you're Family--" featured huge salads made with mostly the white bits of iceberg lettuce, plus 3 canned black olives, tasteless tiny loaves of bread, limp, unlayered eggplant parmigiana, tasteless old calamari, and no olive oil on the table. When I asked for some, the waiter looked at me oddly, then returned with a small saucer filled with oil. If this is Family, give me Friends...
Applebee's--"Welcome to Applebee's"--served up fish and chips that were 90 percent beer batter and oil, 10 percent no-taste fish, fries pretending to be fresh cut---they had evidence of skin on them-- and barely passable cole slaw. The tartar sauce was the only item with any taste and even it seemed more like some kind of overripe dip.
Two examples of American chain cuisine. OMG. Granted, I only had one meal in each, but I felt I had been served up prepared food ( from Sysco?) that had been heated up, not cooked. Tasteless stuff. Appalling when compared to actual, flavorful food. Amazingly bad.
Remember HoJo's luscious, freshly made onion rings? Anyone?
Anyone?
I think "charmless" is the best way to describe chain food. Sure, I may occasionally have a decent meal when dragged to one of these places by family (my friends know better) but it doesn't matter because ultimately I will forget that meal in a few days. Even a lobster quesadilla with red chiles and a tomato aioli..if it's from TGIFriday's.. is going to be utterly boring and forgettable.
Posted by: Mike T | August 05, 2009 at 03:45 PM
I'm with you on Applebee's. Just went there yesterday. A gristly steak, smothered in a weird sauce that just tasted like "restaurant." Broccoli and potatoes that had obviously been microwaved -- tho' the broccoli was pretty good. Chocolate cake that had also been microwaved to about 1000 degrees to make it a "meltdown." My 79 year old mother thought it was all great -- but she never cooks for herself and never liked to.
Posted by: Nancy | February 09, 2009 at 01:40 PM
SOF---I was invited to go by my neighbor across the street...and felt I was doing a noble duty to try the food and also report on it.
Rose--No one is criticizing a decent burger. SOF was referring to my tainting myself by entering these particular establishments.
John--Lordy--I have written "tasteless" too many times, but then. Back in the ancient days of my youth, we Sayles' went out to NEngland country inns for "treats." Real American food, freshly cooked. Authentic fireplaces with warming pans leaning against them. Cookies made from flour right then and there. See: Toll House. No faux. ( Maybe the meat was riddled with vestiges of DDT...)
Posted by: Foodie | February 06, 2009 at 08:47 AM
Oh, Auntie, I love ya! And I love this post! I couldn't have described the Olive Garden or Applebees "experience" any better. My usual reaction on the fairly rare occasions when I eat at a chain place is amazement at the lack of any flavor in the food. We ate at a Mexican chain called Margarita's a few months ago, and food had absolutely no taste to it. Only the hot sauce showed any sign of life. The funny thing about the O.Garden is that it was A BIG TREAT for the Sayles family when I was growing up. We would go to the big mall in Macon a few times a year, like around the holidays, for major shopping, and then have dinner at the Olive Garden. It seemed so amazing at the time...the huge salad with the 3 olives, the neverending breadsticks... Son and I were given a gift card to the O.G. and went to the one down in South Portland just a week or 2 before Lydia was born. Son actually got the Eggplant Parm, and we both kind of laughed at it when it arrived...fried cirles with sauce. I had very, very obviously frozen ravioli. Never again...
Posted by: John | February 06, 2009 at 07:55 AM
Waddya mean sink so low????
Hamburger?
Coke???
1. What is low about an annual hamburger which happens to be very good?
2. I am not having refills, even first gallon of coke. I am having tap water. I was critizising the free refill method.
Please explain.
Posted by: Rose | February 06, 2009 at 01:01 AM
Why have you sunk so low Ma??
Posted by: Son of Foodie | February 05, 2009 at 08:53 PM
A bit late but here we go: My favourite food from a chain eatery has to be Carl jr's (?) hamburger in ABQ. Nicely charred and very good. Pity about the free refills of coke in the gallon cup containers! 2000 calories in liquid form???
Posted by: Rose | February 05, 2009 at 02:42 PM