foodmuseumblog

"Cooking Light's" Gargantuan Opus

Eleven million readers! So claims Cooking Light magazine on its website. Established by Southern Progress Corp, Birmingham, AL,  in 1987, the magazine's aim is to scale back the fat in not just fried chicken--( NB--fried chicken empire KFC apparently is now offering grilled hens)--but in a wide range of traditional as well as global recipe favorites. Its approach is readable, practical, and utterly specific. And younger cooks in my family have praised the magazine's suggestions over the years.

Yesterday the company launched Cooking Light Complete Cookbook--A Fresh New Way to Cook, published by Oxmoor House, $34.95,  part of the Southern Progress group. Again, the practicality of the approach stands out. The 5-ring binder book containing 1200 recipes allows for easy removal of pages. Its surface is washable, for messy cooks like me, and the book comes with a DVD labeled "Bonus--Cooking Light Dinner Tonight Cookbook" featuring 100 recipes and multiple how to's.
( Yes, I have printed up recipes from the Internets but I have never allowed my laptop anywhere near my cooking arena, lord no. ) Calories, fats, carbs, etc., are listed at the end of each offering.

But, and here come the "buts," where's the joy? The exuberance of eating well --oops, that's another food mag---the taste, the aromas, the cultural background? Not here.

The layout begins with a section on In Season, all well and good. Then it gives a primer on what Healthy Eating is about, according to the authors, who must be congratulated on a thoroughly vetted, complicated project, mind you.   Next up are Entertaining and  Appetizers & Beverages, thereby making me feel I had stumbled into a 1950's  tome from Betty Crocker. Wha? Maybe the 21st century has reverted to home entertaining on a big scale while I was blogging--maybe gas prices are thrusting us back on cocktail hour with the neighbors. Maybe?

But having to flip through a major cookbook in search of main courses??  See-- after doing the Wasabi Bloody Marys--OY!-- and Mini Black Bean Cakes--yum, we are really salivating for dinner, and yet the cookbook offers us mega pages of BAKED GOODS next--breads, and cakes, and cookies and, and...

OK, I am possibly making too much of a fuss, but the fruit and veggie sidedishes are smack dab at the end next to substitutions and what a cup is and whatnot. The fish section neglects to inform the reader about the health benefits/sustainable issues of fish, but I suppose there's no room, sadly. And, alarmingly, an entire section of luscious looking fare is labeled Meatless Main Dishes. Please! This is so..........Betty Crocker?  Mushroom Tamales, Tomato Basil Tart, Corn Fritatta, yes. I think 21st c. Americans can handle Vegetarian Main Dishes, I really do.

I realize this is not intended to be the kind of cookbook one gets into bed with, red wine and oozing cheese on the night stand, for a sensual romp through phantasmagoric foodland.  Sitting bolt upright at my desk,  however, I utterly fell for the recipe for Swedish Limpa Soda Bread--it's seasoned with anise and orange rind. Excellent.

Congratulations, Cooking Light, on a major opus many will find perfect--the superlative recipe for Grilled Fries ( white and sweet) on p. 381 has been duly noted.   

But Has She Won New Mexico??

Hot news--In an interview with  Washington, DC, tv station WJLA, right before today's primary, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton revealed the following:

...she eats hot peppers because “years ago, I was told that hot peppers would keep me healthy.”

– “Jalapenos, banana peppers – any kind of hot peppers,” she said. “I eat them raw, I eat them cooked. I don’t whether it’s for everybody, but it’s worked for me."

(I would love to be Fair and Balanced and post additional up to the minute gustatory goodies about others running for Prez but, thus far, that's it.)

Delve Into Nutrition Data

OK, so I'm a sucker for visual aids---but if you want to know instantly the nutritional story within a Krispy Kreme glazed cruller, or a raw carrot, or a cup of  acerola juice, go to Nutrition Data and find out.

The search window works fast and well--I have n0t yet signed up for anything--and reveals pretty graphics re a food's Caloric Ratio Pyramid,  Nutrient Balance Indicator, and more. ( Don't ask me to explain any of these!)

The site apparently does explain all. Even though I am one of those who likes to eat and enjoy, rather than hand-wring over carbs, fats and proteins, I think this site is a nifty foodie tool.

( Nutrition Data info much more visually dazzling than well-intentioned label at left.)

The Med Diet--A World Cultural Treasure?

Spain is pushing for the so-called Mediterranean diet to be included among UNESCO's world cultural treasures when the list is updated this year. This is a foodie first and, by gum, we are solidly behind it. Yes! 

According to an AP report, Spain's entreaty included the following--

"We have high hopes for this endeavor and believe that the characteristics of this exemplary diet will make it clearly deserving of the distinction, which is why we will spare no effort in championing it," said a document presented by Spain to a meeting of EU agriculture ministers.

It said medical studies found the Mediterranean diet's blend of olive oil, fresh fruit, vegetables and fish, combined with a "moderate" intake of wine provides "a quality nutritional model: rich, varied, balanced, healthy and appetizing."

Let's review:

Olive oil, fresh fruit and veg, fish, VINO----( Plus some decent cheese, good bread,  and chocolate... ) Hummus? Baklava?

Sounds like a treasure to me---when I was a student in Italy  eons ago, my "grandmother" in the host family made a tomato soup I remember in dreams--I have never quite replicated it myself but one lunchtime I stopped at Albuquerque's Scalo Restaurant, ordered their tomato soup, and after one sip, was transported back to the long wooden table in the large apartment along the Arno, bending over a hot, rich, bowl of Mediterranean diet soup. How that family would have roared with laughter over their everyday way of eating being turned into an icon!

( Start your diet by buying your own olive tree ( pictured above) from Smith & Hawken--http://www.smithandhawken.com/catalog/product.jsp;jsessionid=XQIKVSAXO2BWQCTLNKFFAFIKNNVIWUPU?productId=prod22433&categoryId=cat120306)

Is Nothing Sacred? Pizza Boxes Defiled

A few years ago advertising mavens in Long Island, NY, decided to put ads for their clients on the wide open spaces that once were pizza boxes. ( In the beginning the company was called Mangia Media, as in "eat" in Italian, but since then they have ceased to have a fun name, alas...)

Recently a community in Ohio took the milk carton "lost children" ad idea and began plastering the faces of "deadbeat Dads" on local pizza boxes.

Now people in Hull, England  are hoping that putting a message from the  Primary Care Trust, the local entity that administers "national health" to all in Britain, on pizza boxes will rouse eaters whose mouths are stuffed with cheese and dough to ponder their dietary choices.

My business henceforth will go only to pizza emporiums whose boxes shriek Lousy Luigi's in red, green and white.

( Thanks to about.com for pizza box schemata.)

A Healthy Dude of Just 92

He's only 92, he's been mostly a veggie since age 15---an occasional turkey sandwich, and some grilled salmon---he eats twice a day, usually a big fruit and eggwhite breakfast at 11 am.  And he and his wife eat dinner out every night, with wine.  Oh--he also exercises.

He's Jack LaLanne, the guy who hated being the skinny dude on the beach with sand kicked in his face by the big handsome fellow with the girl. Remember those ads in the back of Tarzan comics?

( Well, I do.)

Anyway, according to Sally Squires in The WaPost, Jack is for weight training, living in the now, and his salad.

"Every restaurant near us now has a Jack LaLanne salad," (Jack) says. "It's at least 10 raw vegetables chopped, and very little lettuce." He brings his own sesame oil salad dressing and sometimes adds more hard-boiled egg whites for additional protein."

(Jack is  described as a Franco-American, a term that instantly brings to mind the now defunct  brand that specialized in mushy canned spaghetti....I think French-American is just fine.)

The Light Side of Dark Choc

When I read that dark chocolate, my best friend, was effective in lowering blood pressure,  while tea, love it it iced with loads of lemon, is not, I zeroed in on the daily portion mentioned, 3 1/2 ounces.  This ounce thing has always irritated me, other than in the liquid realm. I comprehend an 8 ounce cup and thought I understood a shot glass, which I see is often 2 ounces, with a line marked at 1.5 oz--but then again, to complicate our lives, there is such a thing as a "pony shot" , of just one ounce.

Anyway--3 1/2 ounces of DARK chocolate is apparently enough to lower BP with great pleasure and without nasty meds. The study results are here.

So what is/are 3 1/2 ounces?  According to the Iowa State University Extension website, it's a tad less than 8 dominoes, a tad more than a playing card.  Don't have any dominoes handy but in my mind's eye they seem much bigger than the amount of choc I eat each day--my usual pattern is a square of Belgian dark chocolate ( T. Joe's) in the a.m. as my breakfast "dessert," and another square or two in the afternoon, in between meals.

Having scanned the packaging of dark choc with almonds, I now see that 3 squares at 1.3 oz total, is considered a 200 calorie serving--clearly I am not eating enough!  ( The caloric content is an issue, at higher levels.........but I am gardening furiously these days.)

My BP is rising just contemplating this whole ounce annoyance.

(Thanks to www.kitchenslave.com/chocolate.htm for pic.)

Nutri Nosh?

Pushing buttons to go from tv to dvd mode last night, I noticed that those chatty QVC people on Channel 3 were eating out of little plastic-looking dishes, with an array of Nutri System packaged items strewn below them on display. ( I had a vague recognition of this brand but knew nothing about it.)   A guy was rhapsodic over tortellini with red sauce , I think. Anyway,  one buys 28 premeasured, prepared breakfasts, lunches, dinners and desserts--last night for the low, low price of $239 as compared to $289---and then toaster ovens or nukes them for one's dining pleasure. And to lose weight.

Fresh veg, fruit and dairy are up to you to provide, according to the Nutri System guidelines. But there's the ballgame!  People are buying packaged "dead" food and then adding to it all the things they should be eating in a healthy diet anyway?

Apparently among the selling points are that you need not show up at a Center to be weighed and cajoled, your privacy is assured, and you can go on-line or telephone for support 24/7.  A woman who called in claiming to have lost over 100 pounds said that "nothing else ever worked."

I am happy for that person, and yet, sad. I wonder what happens when people leave the program? Do they maintain healthy weight? Do they know how to choose and cook food, and how much of it to eat, if the package isn't doing the thinking for them?

Astonishingly, TV Food Ads Aimed at Kids are Less Than Ideal

No big surprise here as we read in the Washington Post  that half the tv ads aimed at children in the US are for food, most of it in the lousy column. After analyzing 1600 hours of tv programming either specifically designed for kids, or likely to have a large child or teen viewing audience, the Kaiser Family Foundation discovered that " 34 percent marketed candy and snacks, 28 percent were for cereal, and 10 percent promoted fast foods. No commercials promoted fruit or vegetables. " ( Duh.)

In an ideal world young people would be fed well at home, never introduced to junky fast food, and tv would be an occasional diversion.

Tra la.

You can read more at the Kaiser site here.

( Cartoon from calorielab.com)

Oh So Sadly Heavy, and Yet, Less So Than Before

An AP story from last week started like this: "SAN NICOLAS DE LOS GARZA, Mexico - A man who once weighed well over a half ton left his house for the first time in five years Wednesday — wheeled outside on his bed to greet neighbors and see a mariachi band. "The sky is beautiful and blue and what I want is to enjoy the sun," said Manuel Uribe, who had once been certified by doctors as weighing 1,235 pounds. Though still unable to leave his bed, Uribe has lost 395 pounds since he began a high-protein diet a year ago. He now weighs about 840 pounds. "

Apparently 41 year-old Uribe was a heavy 250 pounds as a teen and just kept going. Since the summer of 2002 he has been bedridden,  fed and bathed by friends and family members. Just as with the American we first blogged about in 2004, Patrick Deuel, also a half ton fellow before gastric bypass surgery, we have to wonder why no one sounded an alarm at, say, 500 pounds?!

Incidentally, the original Patrick Deuel blog entry has elicited more comments, many of them removed for being utterly nasty, than any other topic here.  The latest on Patrick came in a year ago when he had a huge flap of fat surgically removed, in one swift moment losing another 81 pounds. After that point he weighed in at about 400 pounds.

Guess these guys fully comprehend now that it's much harder to take it off than to put it on...

Here's the close of that AP story:                                                                ( AP photo.)

" ( Uribe)  drew worldwide attention when he pleaded for help on national television in January 2006. Afterward, an Italian and a Spanish doctor both visited and offered gastric bypass surgery.

But Uribe chose to accept help from Mexican nutritionists working with the Zone diet. He says he will stick to that diet until he reaches his goal of 265 pounds.

"My goal is to leave the house on my own but I know that will be a long process," he said. Doctors say it may take between three and four years for Uribe to reach his goal.

Uribe said he plans to start a foundation to help overweight people get medical assistance and teach them about healthy eating habits."

Now quit fretting about that cookie you just ate and walk outdoors into the sun!

Dry Cereal ( Whole Grain) Enthusiasts Live Forever

A press release issued by the American Heart Association last week began with this:

"Eating whole-grain breakfast cereals seven or more times per week was associated with a lower risk of heart failure, according to an analysis of the observational Physicians’ Health Study.  Researchers presented findings of the study today at the American Heart Association’s 47^th Annual Conference on Cardiovascular Disease Epidemiology and Prevention.  For the present study, breakfast cereals that contain at least 25 percent oat or bran content were classified as whole-grain cereals.

The analysis shows that those who ate a whole-grain breakfast cereal seven or more times per week were less likely (by 28 percent) to develop heart failure over the course of the study than those who never ate such cereal.  The risk of heart failure decreased by 22 percent in those who ate a whole-grain breakfast cereal from two to six times per week and by 14 percent in those who ate a whole-grain breakfast cereal up to once per week."

Eating cereal "seven or more" times a week? What an appalling thought.  Are we polling college students?( On the other hand, my grandfather apparently ate oatmeal just about every day of his long life.) Isn't there something equine about  folks diving down into big bowls of dry crunchies and cold milk ?  OK, not the milk part.

..."breakfast cereals that contain at least 25 percent oat or bran content were classified as whole-grain cereals. "   Only 1/4 of the cereal contained whole grains? Way at the bottom of the relase it states this:  "In the

United States

, foods considered “whole grain” contain 51 percent or more whole-grain ingredients by weight per reference amount customarily consumed."  ???

..."than those who never ate such cereal. " Huh? What about those who eat whole grain breads or rolls or tortillas or muffins or pancakes for breakfast? 

I have looked around the Internets a bit to try to discover if one of the giant cereal companies could have funded this study, maybe one of the companies with a big stake in oat or bran. So I went to Cheerios.com and right here, to their credit, they do discuss the whole grains we all should be eating and where to find them beyond the cereal box.

Just curious,  I typed  sugar and sugars and sugar content in the website Search box . I got back  "your search for sugar returned no results."  I recall reading once that Cheerios had about 2-3% sugar content, while Capn Crunch and/or Sugar Smacks were well over 50 % in sugar content.

However they are doing it, the Cheerios people certainly seem to have cornered the baby market, ( and maybe also the 7 day plus adult cereal eaters, who knows? )  I seldom encounter a baby or toddler these days who does not have a Cheerio lodged  in his ear or stuck in the wale of her overalls. Those tiny o's appear to attract tiny fingers on most of the highchair trays of America.

Almost Acceptable--Girl Scout Cookies

A good while back I mused on the Girl Scout cookie thing in this blog--whining about the trans fats in said cookies.  Well now the GSers are back and trumpeting the almost no trans fats in their reconfigured products.

Here's the word from GS HQ

"For several decades, it was thought that partially hydrogenated oils–sometimes referred to as trans fats–were a healthier food choice compared with saturated fats. In recent years, data has emerged suggesting that, in fact, trans fats are not a healthier choice than saturated fats. Girl Scouts of the USA is proud to announce that all Girl Scout cookies are now "zero trans fat per serving" with the same great taste that has made them one of America's favorite treats over the years. While some "zero trans fat per serving" varieties of Girl Scout cookies were available in 2005 and 2006, this year all varieties will contain less than 0.5 grams trans fat per serving, which meets or exceeds the FDA guidelines for the "zero trans fat" designation.

Girl Scouts of the USA has worked diligently with our bakers over the past several years to address the issue of trans fats. We began listing the amount of trans fats one full year before FDA requirements went into effect. It is important to remember that Girl Scout Cookies are a snack food and are meant to be consumed in limited quantities within the context of a balanced diet. So that consumers can make an informed choice, the ingredients and nutritional profile of each variety are clearly listed on both the cookie box and the cookie order form."

It's noteworthy that more and more purveyors of cookies and snacks and such are taking pains to point out that these items are  " meant to be consumed in limited quantities within the context of a balanced diet. "

Apparently this concept is something many people have utterly forgotten or perhaps, in recent years, never knew...?

Tortillas Costing Too Much in Mexico

  According to a piece by  dpa German Press Agency, rising world prices for corn ( maize) have led to a leap in the cost of a kilo of tortillas in Mexico.  Mexicans eat over 300 million corn tortillas a day. While tortillas are food favorites all across the country, for the poor they are essential food staples. And at $1.42 per kilo, they are becoming too costly.

"For many Mexicans, the tortilla is a question of life and death,"
journalist Manuel Janregui writes in the Reforma newspaper. "

While the country seems to grow enough corn for its own use, it appears that much of the local production has lately been used as chicken feed.   

Protesters pushed the government to announce the import of "duty-free maize" from the United States but that will not arrive in country until February.

The Seattle Times reported that prices of tortillas have jumped 14 percent over the past year.

"This is direct evidence of the way globalization is affecting all walks of life in Mexico and all over the world," said David Barkin, an economics professor at the Autonomous Metropolitan University in Mexico City."

( Albuquerque-made tortillas to the rescue? Thanks to www.albuquerque-tortilla.com for tortilla pic.)

Fatter, But Not TOO Fat

According to  a Pentagon report, in 2005 American troops were fatter, and drank more--in a bingey way--than did their predecessors. Still, they are less fat than their fellow Americans, and somehow this is good news....Oh--and the troops are very much less fat than the people of the western Pacific islands of Nauru and Tonga. There, nine out of ten adults are overweight.

Slovenian President Follows Vegan Path

According to a piece in The Telegraph, the president of Slovenia has gone vegan.

"Adopting a New Age existence after being diagnosed with cancer, Janez Drnovsek, 56, has moved from the presidential palace in Ljubljana to the village of Zaplana, where he lives alone with his dog on a vegan diet of organic fruit and vegetables, while he bakes his own bread."

( Pic from (©AP/WWP) )

European Health Ministers Take On Obesity

Today's story by Maria Cheng from myway.com via Raw Story reports that:

"European health ministers from 53 countries approved the world's first charter to fight obesity on Thursday, vowing greater action against the epidemic of expanding waistlines across the continent.

The charter, approved in Istanbul, Turkey, was drafted by the World Health Organization in consultation with its European member states. It is the first real attempt to compel national authorities to take concrete action to combat obesity."

According to the article,  half of all Europeans, ( that's a large group of disparate people!,) and 20 percent of its children are overweight.

"One of the charter's more contentious inclusions is an obligation for the private sector to limit the marketing of fatty, sugary foods to children. It calls for specific regulatory measures to "substantially reduce" the advertising of unhealthy foods to children.

The clause implies that governments should introduce legislation regarding marketing to children, with an eventual move to adopting an international code of practice. In the past, the food industry has fought against such regulation, since it may eat into their profits."

When is the summit of the Americas on this issue?

Fairly Obvious Dietary Info Worth Repeating

A New England Journal of Medicine report just out states: "Women who eat a diet moderately low in carbohydrates, but rich in vegetable fat and vegetable protein, can cut their risk of heart disease by as much as 30 percent compared with just following a low-fat approach, according to a new Harvard study.

The findings, drawn from a study of more than 80,000 nurses, reinforce a growing shift in nutritional advice toward moderate amounts of healthful fat found in such foods as nuts, avocados, liquid vegetable oils and seafood along with less-processed carbohydrates, including whole-grain bread and cereal and fruits and vegetables."

( Veggie pic from www.therawvegannetwork.com)

A Healthy Pol Governs Himself

I came across a brief interview with Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee in the October 23 Sports Illustrated. He was diagnosed with Type II diabetes in 2003, lost 110 pounds over two years, and became a  runner.  ( At left, Huckabee in 2002, and 2005.)

In answer to the question "Do Americans want skinny politicians?" he said: "I think they want healthy politicians. Leaders cannot ask of others what they themselves are unwilling to do, and without doubt Americans need to be healthy. America is a lot like an NFL football game. You have 22 people on the field who really need rest and 70,000 people in the stands who really need exercise."

According to his official website, " In March 2005, Huckabee completed the Little Rock Marathon, and has since completed the Marine Corps Marathon in Washington D.C. and The Road Runners Club of America named him its Southern Region Runner of the Year, and he was named USA Track & Field's Athlete of the Week for the country. Huckabee's fourth book, "Quit Digging Your Grave With A Knife And Fork," was released by Time Warner Book Group in May..."

How did he transform himself? By changing his diet and  beginning to exercise. Today he has no sign of Type II diabetes.

This excerpt is from Life Extension Magazine:  "Gov. Huckabee knew he wanted to get healthy, but simply had no idea how to succeed. His break came when he was approached by a close advisor and cabinet member about a weight-loss program offered at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences (UAMS). Led by Dr. Philip Kern, a renowned endocrinologist whose research specialty is metabolism, the UAMS program approaches weight loss in the context of permanent lifestyle changes, anchored by healthy eating habits and balanced nutrition.

In the program’s first phase, patients are put on a largely liquid diet of prepared soups and nutritional supplements. The idea is not only to eliminate sugary and high-glycemic-index foods from one’s diet, but also to effect a dramatic change away from typical eating habits. According to Gov. Huckabee, “It worked for me because I didn’t have to think, plan, or fret about what I could or couldn’t eat. I needed that intense ‘breakaway’ from having to choose my food until I changed me enough to make smart choices.” Having been broken of their former eating habits and educated about more healthful food choices, patients on the UAMS program eventually return to eating solid foods.

While the UAMS program was a big part of his success, Gov. Huckabee is quick to point out that there is no “secret” to weight loss, nor is he partial to one type of diet over another. After all, he notes, “weight loss comes back to this simple truth—fewer calories in (consumption) and more calories out (exercise).”"

Next month Huckabee, co-chair with Bill Clinton of the Alliance for a Healthier Generation, will run in the New York City Marathon.

Fat Americans Redux

The non profit group Trust for America's Health reports that obesity rates have risen in 31 U.S. states, despite increasing focus and money being spent on what to eat, what not to eat, how to cook, exercise, and live. Top three fatty states are Mississippi, Alabama and West Virginia. Colorado, Hawaii and Massachusetts were the trimmest states, according to the report. TAH is actually calling for more government-funded research into creating better obesity-prevention programs.

What?!  How difficult is this!?   The word is in, long since, people. Move more, eat less, turn off the tube, take pleasure in a wide  range of foods, stop snacking, say "no" to fast food joints, send your kids outside to play, toss out processed foods, reject supermarket blather, drink loads of water, buy locally whenever possible, stand up and prepare and cook fresh food, and sit down to enjoy meals with family and friends. Oh, and if you're not vegan ( and if you were, you would not be fat) eat full fat plain( good quality) yogurt, about half cup a day.

Frankly, my dears, each and every adult in this country has to wake up and take charge of his/her own health and well-being and that of their kiddies.  Because endless more research and programs will never make a dent without personal responsibility. ( OhmygawdIsoundlikeaconservative..................a real one.)

On the other hand, The FOOD Museum could use an infusion of funding, so maybe we could turn this common sense understanding of obesity into a mega-funded research project!

p.s. We know that there is a segment of the U.S. population that is hard-pressed to get access even to a supermarket--only mini marts exist in their neighborhoods. For them eating better is exceedingly difficult indeed.

p.p.s.  Evidently bad eating habits, quite likely inspired by the American fast food model, now abound around the world. So says the International Congress on Obesity, now convened in Sydney, Australia, in this AP report.

( Drawing from Slate.com)

"Eating" ---The Movie

All in the line of duty, I finally watched an overly long flick called Eating. It was made in the early 1990's by Henry Jaglom, an English-born indy director much lauded by some as idiosyncratic. ( Evidently he achieved early fame with a faux food film called Can She Bake A Cherry Pie?)

Eating centers on a Southern California birthday party honoring three women of different ages. Untold numbers of mostly thin, svelte women show up for the event, including a young French filmmaker who is doing a documentary on the California American scene or some such.

The women drift hither and thither, admiring others' bodies, loathing their own, and eventually they go before the French gal's camera and whine about food, sex, men, love, mostly the lack thereof, and so on.  The sole voice of sanity is expressed by Frances Bergen,  astonishingly lovely at 70-something.  ( She's  Candice Bergen's mom.)  She plays the lead character's mother and is repeatedly flabbergasted by the absurd notions these pampered neurotic gals have about good old food.

At one point the guests do dive into a big spread on a buffet table, a scene that inexplicably appears after they have all recoiled in horrific clucks from the obligatory birthday cakes. ( One character, God bless her, chows down throughout the film. )

I started doing whatever you call "fast forwarding" in DVD parlance right away--fortunately, I caught this one line:

" I'm still looking for a man who will excite me as much as a baked potato."