Post office clerk briskly to Foodie, handing over Flat Rate box for mailing: 
"Anything perishable, fragile, hazardous, ghastly....?"
Foodie, pondering lying, then responding truthfully, "Uh, fruit."
USPS: "What kind of fruit?"
Foodie: "Starfruit and citrus."
USPS: "Florida state law forbids the mailing of citrus."
Foodie: "Wha?!"
USPS: "Only shippers may mail citrus out of the state."
Foodie, dramatically, " Oh please. This is just a bit of fruit, to my family freezing their buns off in Maine-and most of it is starfruit."
USPS: "That's citrus."
Foodie, earnestly: " No, actually starfruit is not citrus, it's carambola, oddly a member of the Oxalis family, native most likely to Sri Lanka."
USPS: (moment of silence )
USPS, sighing, turning box around to type in zip code: "Do you want delivery confirmation, insurance with that?"
Foodie: " No, and thank you sooooo much!"
Massive cheers rise from the crowd behind me in line at the PO. (Not.)
ps Easier to buy a handgun on the street in Florida, done by a 16 year-old recently, than to mail fruit!?